I have a new tribe.
Hunter has brought with him a whole new way of life, an entirely new lifestyle and, rather unexpectedly, some of the most beautiful friendships with the most incredible women.
One of us is a champion breastfeeder. One of us couldn’t stand breastfeeding. One of us desperately wanted to breastfeed but it was making their child sick. One of us mix feeds. And another of us wasn’t physically able to breastfeed.
Our children are different ages, though all under eighteen months. Each of us have a different mothering style with one big thing in common – we do whatever feels right for us. None of us judge.
A couple of our kids sleep through the night. A couple of the others still end up in our beds. Some have teeth, others don’t. Some can sit up, others can’t. One can crawl, another rolls.
One is at day-care full time. A couple are looked after by their grandparents a couple of times a week. Some are with us all day, every day.
Each of us come from very different backgrounds; each of us have incredibly different conception, pregnancy and birth stories and experiences. We are different ages, we have different beliefs, different cultures, different circumstances; and although that is the case, each of these women are my people.
Every time I spend time with these incredible women I am left awestruck. I always learn something new about each and every one of them, both as a mother and as their own person. Each of them are creative in their own ways and talk with such passion that it always leaves me inspired and grateful and unable to comprehend how I got so lucky to be in their company. One is into art and interior design, one knows everything there is to know about babies (seriously, she knows everything), a couple have truly incredible careers that they have worked exceptionally hard for.
I am writing this today because I am filled with such gratitude towards these women. Hunter and I had a particularly rough night last night and an even tougher morning this morning. We were up all night and then actually UP at 4am, screaming. For three hours. I burst into tears and felt like a failure because exhaustion and hormones are so real right now. When I finally bundled Hunter into the car to get him out of the house, my mind went to the women who comprise my tribe. I thought of the countless conversations we have had; we share stories, we share ideas, we share woes and worries we have for ourselves and for our beautiful children. More importantly though, we build each other up and reassure one another of anything and everything we need reassuring of, we never judge one another (or other parents and humans for that matter), we understand one another when we said, “It’s been a really hard fucking day”. Every single one of us is bringing up our child differently to one another and every single one of us is doing a perfect job, and we are always sure to let each other know.
From each of these women I have learned resilience, patience and perspective. I have been taught things about my own son from each of these wonderful creatures. I have been inspired to write, to create, to forge my own path, to be more fierce, to be myself. I have so much to thank these women for, most of which they won’t realised they even helped me with and through.
Mamas, your tribe will find you, and you them. Until then, you have me. I’m your tribe; Hunter and I will always be your people.