77 days until due date
This week has felt extremely long. The weather hasn’t been too hot and yet it is affecting me a lot now (even still, please refrain from uttering, “Ooooh pregnant through summer” to me. I don’t appreciate it and am fully aware that I am pregnant and it is about to be summer). On the plus side though, the warmer weather means that I can wear dresses and actually be comfortable. I much rather being that little bit too warm and in a dress than it being cooler outside but having to wear jeans all day. No thank you.
It seems that every day I grow that little bit more outwards. I cannot see my toes anymore and I was told by my midwife that from now on, if I am lying down, I need to roll to get up and not try and sit up as I risk pulling my abdominal muscles. I feel like a whale. I am also about to grow out of everything I own and to be honest, I am tempted to just be naked whenever possible, it’s the only time I am really comfortable. A good night’s sleep is a thing of the past and I am actually okay with that. Like I have mentioned before, when I wake up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom (for the sixth time) and bub wakes up too, I don’t mind that he has a bit of a play and a stretch. Though it impedes me from getting back to sleep, it’s like he and I are spending uninterrupted time together and there is something really amazing about that. I am sleeping deeply when I am asleep (thank god), but my trips to the bathroom seem to have tripled this week. I am constantly getting up from my desk, or getting up from the lounge, or getting up from bed because once again, I need to pee. I have tried to drink more of my water during the day so that during the night, I don’t need to go as much but I feel like even if I drank absolutely nothing at all (I would never), I would still have to get up fifteen times to empty my bladder. #science
Another thing that I have noticed is that whenever I am sitting down I am completely restless. I still can’t stop jiggling my legs, I need to stand up often to stretch my back and I readjust my sitting position every few minutes. And even though I am that restless, I am also utterly depleted of all energy. It’s a weird little situation. What I have come to realise throughout this pregnancy is that although there are definite ‘checkpoints’ – first trimester, second trimester, third trimester – there are also far more subtle ones that will be different and individual to each woman. This week I found myself thinking, “Ohhhh, okay. So I am going to be this tired, this is happening with bub and will only be capable of doing this after work,” and so then I adjust my daily routine, remind myself of what I can and can’t do physically and familiarise myself with whatever is happening with my body. For example, due to how big bub is now, I am eating a lot less and, on top of that, I am craving salad more than anything which doesn’t do much for my energy levels and so it has been getting to about 7.30pm and I am wasted. My body is feeling tired in a different way than it was last week – last week I was aching a lot and my muscles felt really tight whereas this week it is more of a general exhaustion. I got home yesterday and showered, lay down on the lounge to read and almost immediately fell asleep. It was 5.30pm.
Tonight I have my youngest brother’s end of year performance. He goes to a performing arts school and is on a scholarship for drumming – the kid is legit. I have never missed one of his concerts and never will, but for the first time, the idea of having something on after work was really daunting. I called mum and asked what time it started and what the plan was and when she heard the slight anxiety in my voice, she reassured me that it was completely normal to feel that at this stage of the pregnancy. The idea of having plans at night is just not something I am keen on, and I imagine that that will only become more and more of a thing the bigger and further along in the pregnancy I get. She said that from now on, I need to make sure that I rest as much as I can, whenever I can and it was actually so nice to hear that that is something I have to do. I have been feeling guilty about how tired I have been and how incapable I am of getting as much stuff done around the house as I used to – even though Pete always just stares at me when I express that to him and he says, “Leah, you’re pregnant..”. I don’t know why I feel like I need that permission to just rest. I think that part of it is just who I am, but also, even after almost seven months of being pregnant, I am still not used to the fact that I simply can’t do things that I normally would.
Our little man is anything bu tired. He just does not stop wriggling around and I could have sworn he had friends over the other night at about 4.30 in the morning. He doesn’t kick as much any more but he is always moving, and he is so strong now that if he does kick, it often takes me by surprise and can sometimes hurt (depending on where his kick lands). Pete and I were sitting on the lounge a couple of days ago and bub was going absolutely ballistic, Pete was on his phone but the movements are moving my stomach so much that Pete saw them out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t believe how much our son was able to change the shape of my belly. It’s like a scene out of Alien.
Oh – I also definitely waddle now as well, and I am okay with it.
I have just over three weeks left at work and the idea of that is really insane. I worked it out and told Pete and we both just looked at each other with not a whole lot to say. Everything is coming around so quickly and I know that bub is going to come along faster than either of us expect. Funnily enough though, neither of us are worried or fretting at all. It all feels surreal and foreign, but not scary and I cannot express how grateful I am to be bringing our son into this world and into so much love. I know I am getting a bit soppy but, you know, hormones. ANYWAY – one thing that I do need to sort out is my maternity leave pay, as well as whatever it is I need to tell Centrelink. I have no idea. I am oblivious. I had a chat with our CFO at work yesterday about the process and realised that it is something I need to get onto before Christmas because after that, bub could be born anytime. I will be sure to run through what I need to do in detail because I know that I would have appreciated a step-by-step, how-to, dummies guide to getting maternity payments set up and so that will be my gift to you all out there who are just as oblivious as me.
Cravings this week have been:
– fresh orange juice (which is lucky because I have been fighting off the flu that my brother and Pete both have)
– Vietnamese banh mi rolls (the lady at the shop knows me and my order now so all I have to do is walk in..)
– salad (of any kind)
– grape tomatoes (cannot buy enough punnets of them at the moment, my god)